Summer and Fall 2007- Real Life

Numerous studies have shown that people these days, and especially young people, are looking for people to be "real". They are sick of the slick corporate-speak filtered through PR departments. The Clue Train Manifesto way back in 1999 made this clear.

The slick sermon rarely connects with people in the pew. And for me, I like the movies that connect with my emotions, and perhaps my brain as well. I don't need another superficial message with little relevance to my real life journey.

One of the beauties and one of the very risky hazards of blogs is that people tend to write with minimal editing. Pretty or not, personal blogs are usually real and genuine. And at least some people appreciate that. But, as a writer, it isn't always clear what I should share. Some people genuinely want to really know how my life has been the past months.

Here is a taste of real life:

God continues to bless me. Beyond circumstances, the greatest miracles are often ones of perspective and attitude. Only God can help some of those. In the midst of some "interesting" circumstances, I still overall have peace, joy, and hope for the future. I feel loved by God and there are still a few individuals showing care. And, to the best of my knowledge, God has kept me healthy through the years I could not afford any health insurance.

I am thankful for some steady work with a construction manufacturer that is adapting well to the housing market. Even though I have yet to discover a Christian there, I have some good people on my team and throughout our office. I have had a just-right mixture of challenges and successes. The commute is long and the pay isn't what I had hoped for, but I feel blessed.

In many things in life, as you go on to something new, you are leaving other things behind. In some ways, the past months have been a time of mourning dealing with business disappointments and watching some business and ministry hopes getting reshuffled.

I found out about getting this long-term work the day before the foreclosure sheriff's sale. It was too late then. Like many others, I will be kicked out of my house in the coming weeks. Due to some other circumstances I may write about later, my take-home pay has not been enough to build up a good rent deposit. We have been watching The Pursuit of Happyness during lunch at work the last couple days. I can relate to many of the struggles of the characters with divorce and homelessness. It is a chilly time of year here in Minnesota. But camping or sleeping in my car are real possibilities for a period of time in December. You just adapt and move forward.

Even though I was making very good progress on catching up with the gas bill, gas was cut off. So we have not had a furnace or hot water for a couple months, so far. I do have a couple of small space heaters though. There is a major water leak also that I could not afford to fix. So even cold water is only turned on for a half-hour or so each morning. That has been true since May. Like millions of other people in the world, we can survive heating up water on the stove. And to have any running water in the house is a luxury many people only dream of.

I haven't been able to afford garbage or recycleables collection since February. It isn't quite as bad as it might sound. If you rinse food containers well, smell is minimized. If you can't afford to buy much, there is less garbage too. I buy gas and groceries and not much else. Adapt and move on.

And, oh yeah, with the water leaks in the basement, I also get to breathe in a fair amount of mold. Somehow God has kept us reasonably healthy through it all. Did I mention the big hole in the roof chewed by squirrels? And the garage door opener quit this summer too. I am thankful I have a garage. Are we having fun yet?

In a previous post I mentioned my computer having some time-consuming issues that kept progress on any projects to a minimum for many weeks. A month or so ago my 1995 vintage computer mostly died. It will not start up. It is the only computer compatible with my old scanner. So, until I can afford to buy a scanner, I need that computer for both client projects and personal needs.

The long commute and trying circumstances have left me just feeling tired many nights. It has been a challenge to enthusiastically spend more time with the computer in the evenings and weekends. But, right or wrong, I have mostly felt okay with some relaxing time too.

Paying bills has been hard enough this Fall. But I also had $600 in fraudulent charges against my checking account with someone paying their T-Mobile bill with my checking account number. I eventually got the money back. I am hoping a stranger was the guilty party. Because of the fraud, I had to open a new account and shuffle direct-deposit and other things that delayed receiving paychecks by several days.

Even though I had suspected it, I found out for sure in the past week that over $50,000 I had paid in surplus child support that could have gone for my son's college fund was instead spent by his mother on temporary pleasures. I am not saying anything negative about her here. She is proud of how she spent the money. I wasn't totally surprised. But still, it was disappointing.

Through this fun adventure, ideally a person would have a group of supportive people around them. I have been part of a small group through church that met weekly for seven years. The group that could have been supportive, instead kicked me out of the group a couple of months ago. The only reason given was that one person did not like something I said years ago. That is the only explanation I got. A couple of phrases come to mind: "And they will know they are Christians by the love they have for one another." And the old Don Henley lyrics seem appropriate too. "Kick 'em when they're up. Kick 'em when they're down." I will need to write about that episode some time in the future. Some of it reflects the culture of the church. If I do write about it, my intent is not to bash anyone, but to help other churches avoid the same thing.

I have been attending another church in Saint Paul. I certainly miss some of the people and things from the church I attended for nearly seven years. But at this new church the pastor was humble and they have a genuine heart for the nations (in the pulpit, not just people in the pews). Just to keep things interesting, the great senior pastor at this new church recently retired and other staff are resigning to make way for a new pastor and staff yet to be determined. So the church is in transition as well.

With the small group and church changes, many of my relationships have changed drastically with a few new ones beginning. Through the Internet, I am still able to get good teaching and encouragement to persevere in ministry. Sure, it's strangers. But I'll take what I can get.

And there are additional challenges I could write about too. But this is a start.

I am not getting bored. And the struggles with attitudes and perspectives are very trying at times. I don't always choose wisely. But God is patient and merciful with me.

I feel God still has some great plans for me. And I have some specific web applications waiting to be created by me this coming year. Until God is finished with his plans for me, I will survive one way or another. Keep looking forward...